| Consumers: |
One plan, one goal
One mission
No heart, no soul
Just one solution
One flash of light
Yeah, one God, one vision
One flesh, one bone
One true religion
One voice, one hope
One real decision
Wowowowowowo
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah |
| Galileo (v/o): |
I had a dream when I was
young |
| Scaramouche (v/o): |
A dream of sweet
illusion |
| Galileo (v/o): |
A glimpse of hope and
unity |
| Scaramouche (v/o): |
And visions of one sweet
union |
| Bohemians (v/o): |
But a cold wind blows
And a dark rain falls
And in my heart it shows
Look what they've done to my dreams |
| Consumers: |
One vision
Give us your hand, give us your heart
Ready? There's only one direction
One world, one nation
One television
No hate, no fight
Just excitation
All through the night
It's a celebration
Wowowowowowo yeah
One one one one one one one
All we hear is radio Ga Ga
Video Goo Goo
Internet Ga Ga
All we hear is cyberspace Ga Ga
Internet Ga Ga
Marketing blah-blah
Oh, oh!
One flesh, one bone
One true religion
One voice, one hope
One real decision
Give us one light, yeah
Give us one hope, hey
Just give us
One plan, one scam
One star, one night, one day, hey hey
Just gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
Fried chicken
(vision, vision, vision, vision, vision)
(the video screens disappear and the van is back,
plus a backdrop of graffiti'd concrete. GALILEO and
SCARAMOUCHE climb up through a trapdoor stage left)
|
| Galileo: |
How did Khashoggi find the
Heartbreak Hotel? |
| Scaramouche: |
He must have some way of
tracking us! |
| Galileo: |
The hospital! When they
operated on our heads!
(he peers at SCARAMOUCHE's hair)
I think I've found something!
(SCARAMOUCHE produces a penknife and hands it to him)
|
| Scaramouche: |
Cut it out! |
| Galileo: |
What? |
| Scaramouche: |
Gazza, if there are bugs in
our heads, then the police will track us down in hours!
Cut it out.
(he does) |
| Galileo: |
He's had us from the start!
He's heard everything!
(SCARAMOUCHE takes the bug from him and talks into
it) |
| Scaramouche: |
Hello! Pervert! It's a
short sentence, the second word is 'off'. |
| Galileo: |
All right, now me.
(she does so and peers at both the bugs)
OK, crush them. |
| Scaramouche: |
What, a couple of
state-of-the-art micro-transceivers? No way, I'll just
activate the maximum negativity spectrum. |
| Galileo: |
What? |
| Scaramouche: |
I'll turn them off.
(they sit on the edge of the mattress that is,
conveniently, inside the van) |
| Galileo: |
It's over, Scaramouche. Do
you realise that? The bohemians are finished. The
Heartbreak Hotel is destroyed. Only we escaped. |
| Scaramouche: |
Britney Spears died to save
us. To save you. |
| Galileo: |
And he will not die in
vain! It's up to us, now. We're part of the underworld,
Scaramouche. You, and me. Cast adrift. There's no
turning back now. Not ever. |
| Scaramouche: |
I never belonged anyway.
Did you notice - you've lost your stutter? |
| Galileo: |
Well, I feel different. |
| Scaramouche: |
We're both different. For
the first time in my life, I don't hate myself. |
| Galileo: |
And I don't want to die.
I've found something to live for. |
| Scaramouche: |
The dream? |
| Galileo: |
No, you!
But…..we will be caught in the end. You know that,
don't you? |
| Scaramouche: |
Yeah. I know. And probably
killed. |
| Galileo: |
I love you, Scaramouche. |
| Scaramouche: |
I love you too, Gaz. |
| Galileo: |
Do you think, just this
once, you could use my full name? |
| Scaramouche: |
I love you too,
Gazza….Fizza…. |
| Galileo: |
Then if I have your love,
time doesn't matter much at all, does it? |
| Scaramouche: |
There's no time for us
There's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams
Yet slips away from us
Who wants to live forever |
| Both: |
Who wants to live
forever
Who |
| Galileo: |
There's no chance for us
It's all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us
Who wants to live forever |
| Both: |
Who wants to live
forever
Who
Who dares to love forever |
| Galileo: |
Oh, when love must die!
|
| Scaramouche: |
But touch my tears with
your lips |
| Galileo: |
Touch my world with your
fingertips |
| Both: |
And we can have forever
And we can love forever |
| Galileo: |
Forever is ours today
|
| Both: |
Who wants to live
forever
Who wants to live forever |
| Scaramouche: |
Forever is ours |
| Galileo: |
Who waits forever,
anyway?
(they kiss and disappear inside the van. Fade to
black, then lights up to reveal six BOHEMIANS (including
MEAT and PRINCE), seated, each with a MINION to their
right. KHASHOGGI is suspended in, well, a ship)
|
| Khashoggi: |
What do you know of the
phrase 'living rock'? Where is the place of champions? |
| Bohemian 1: |
They're freedom words, pig!
Words the Dreamer used! We don't know what they mean! |
| Minion 1: |
He tells the truth,
Commander Khashoggi. I've applied a search program to
one of his brain functions and I find no evidence of
deceit. |
| Khashoggi: |
Pity! Hurt him anyway!
(the BOHEMIAN jerks backward) |
| Bohemians: |
Flash! Aah! |
| Khashoggi: |
And I would rather you did
not call me 'pig'. |
| Bohemian 2: |
Pig's too good for you! |
| Khashoggi: |
Hurt her, too! |
| Bohemians: |
Flash! Aah! |
| Khashoggi: |
In fact - hurt them all! |
| Bohemians: |
Flash! Aah! |
| Khashoggi: |
For what it's worth, your
'Dreamer' knows no more about the place of living rock
than you or I. He's just a poor idiot, parroting phrases
he does not understand. Still, he lead me to you, and
for that I am grateful. |
| Prince: |
Are you going to kill us? |
| Khashoggi: |
Please, Mr Prince!
Globalsoft is not some medieval inquisition! We're
merely going to kill your souls - and empty your brains
of such absurd notions as real music and individual
thought. |
| Bohemian 1: |
You're sending us to the
Seven Seas of Rhye! |
| Khashoggi: |
Precisely. Prepare the
helmets.
(each MINION places an orange helmet on a BOHEMIAN's
head) |
| Meat: |
Dreamer! Follow us!
Bohemians, give him your power! Make your last thoughts
the Dream! |
| Khashoggi: |
Good night, Miss Loaf…. |
| Bohemians: |
Noooooo! |
| Khashoggi: |
Fear me you lords and
lady preachers
I descend upon your Earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine
The seven seas of Rhye
Can you hear me you peers and privy councillors
I stand before you naked to the eyes
I will destroy any man who dares abuse my trust
I swear that you'll be mine
The seven seas of Rhye
Sister - I live and lie for you
Mister - do and I'll die
You are mine I possess you
I belong to you forever-ever-ever-aah
(KHASHOGGI leaves his ship and dances past the row of
BOHEMIANS. One by one, their minds are emptied)
Storm the master-marathon I'll fly through
By flash and thunder-fire and
I'll survive - I'll survive - I'll survive
Then I'll defy the laws of nature and come out alive
Then I'll get you
Be gone with you - you shod and shady senators
Give out the good, leave out the bad evil cries
I challenge the mighty Titan and his troubadours
And with a smile
I'll take you to the seven seas of Rhye |
| Bohemians: |
Oh, I do like to be
beside the seaside
Oh, I do like to be beside the sea
There are lots of girls beside, oh I do like to be
beside
Beside the seaside, beside the sea
(fade to black, then lights up to show the van again.
It is the next morning) |
| Galileo: |
Meatloaf - no - Prince -
argh! The Seven Seas of Rhye!
(he throws back the curtain and sits up. SCARAMOUCHE
wakes and sits up beside him) |
| Scaramouche: |
Well, good morning Gazza!
Or perhaps I should use your full name - Shagileo
Gigolo…. |
| Galileo: |
I had this dream! And it
was - (pause)
Shagileo Gigolo? You - really think so? |
| Scaramouche: |
Oh, yeah.
(she kisses him but he pulls away) |
| Galileo: |
No! We don't have time! I
have to go to the Seven Seas of Rhye! I had a dream
about Big Macca and the others. I dreamt that there were
these cops, and cages made of lasers, and - |
| Scaramouche: |
Gazza, there is nothing,
and I mean nothing, more boring than people wanting to
describe their dreams to you. |
| Galileo: |
No, but really - |
| Scaramouche: |
No, trust me on this. It
kills relationships stone dead. The morning one partner
wakes up and says 'it was amazing, there was a rabbit,
in a bowler hat, cooking an omelette' - that is when
love dies. |
| Galileo: |
But, Scaramouche, I'm sure
of it! The bohemians are headed across the Seven Seas of
Rhye! |
| Scaramouche: |
I know! |
| Galileo: |
I think it's somewhere in
the Europrecinct of Planet Mall. And there was water.
Lots of water! And - what? |
| Scaramouche: |
I know about the Seven Seas
of Rhye. They're not seas at all, no, they're rivers.
Rivers that supply a lake. They used to call it Lake
Geneva. The spirit of rock is very strong there. It's
where they put all the misfits, the rebels. |
| Galileo: |
But, this is incredible,
Scaramouche! We had the same dream! It's like we're
soulmates - split-aparts - kindred spirits! |
| Scaramouche: |
No, Gaz, I didn't have any
dream. I just reversed the polarity on these
micro-transceivers. I've been monitoring police
headquarters. |
| Galileo: |
Gee. You really know how to
make a guy feel inadequate. |
| Scaramouche: |
Bless. You could always let
me make it up to you…. |
| Galileo: |
No! I have to go the Seven
Seas of Rhye! |
| Scaramouche: |
But it's pretty dangerous!
I mean, the police are bound to still be looking for us.
I say we should hide out here, on this mattress, for two
or three days - |
| Galileo: |
No, Scaramouche! I still
haven't found what I'm looking for! I want the world and
I want it now! You can't stop until you get enough!
Billie-Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl that
claims that I am the one. The kid is not my son. |
| Scaramouche: |
What? |
| Galileo: |
Nothing. I don't know where
that last bit came from. I'm going, but I will be back
for you. |
| Scaramouche: |
Hang on, what do you mean?
There'll be police all over the place. I should go, not
you. |
| Galileo: |
Forget it, Scaramouche.
This is my fight. |
| Scaramouche: |
How'd you work that out? |
| Galileo: |
Because I'm 'the man'.
Britney Spears said so! |
| Scaramouche: |
Exactly! Which is why it's
stupid of you to risk your life! I'm dispensable. You
should stay here. |
| Galileo: |
Oh, right. Like I'm going
to let my chick fight my battles for me. |
| Scaramouche: |
Let your chick?! Excuse me,
but at what point in this relationship did you take the
arsehole pill! |
| Galileo: |
That's it, Scaramouche!
Must everything always be a fight with you? I thought
you'd mellowed out! |
| Scaramouche: |
Well, I haven't! |
| Galileo: |
Well, it's really starting
to irritate me! |
| Scaramouche: |
Oh no. My heart just broke. |
| Galileo: |
Look, you're my girlfriend!
I want to protect you! |
| Scaramouche: |
No, you think just because
you got your leg over that you own me, or something! |
| Galileo: |
You are such a pain with
this constant female assertion thing! |
| Scaramouche: |
Fine! Well, at least we
know now where we stand! |
| Galileo: |
Yes, we do! |
| Scaramouche: |
Which is not together! |
| Galileo: |
Well - if you say so! |
| Scaramouche: |
Right! From now on, our
relationship is purely professional. We've got a job to
do, and we'll do it, and that's all. |
| Galileo: |
Well, suits me! But I'm
going to the Seven Seas!
(he climbs through the trapdoor stage left and slams
it after him. SCARAMOUCHE climbs halfway into the
trapdoor stage right and shouts after him) |
| Scaramouche: |
Well, so am I! And if, when
we get there, you get caught, and the Dream is lost, and
the kids are enslaved till the end of time - well,
you're going to feel a bit bloody stupid, that's all!
(she leaves, slamming the trapdoor after her. The
scene changes to KILLER QUEEN's living room) |
| Recording: |
Are you gonna take me
home tonight
Ah, down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Fat-bottomed girls, you make the rocking world go round
(enter the KILLER QUEEN and KHASHOGGI) |
| Khashoggi: |
Ma'am, I bring splendid
news! My officers have been successful in breaking up
the bohemian stronghold! The Heartbreak Hotel is
destroyed! |
| Killer Queen: |
But Khashoggi - this is
wonderful! Incredible! A triumph! The resistance is
vanquished! We've won! |
| Khashoggi: |
Yes, ma'am. Unfortunately -
|
| Killer Queen: |
Tonight! I'm gonna have
myself a real good time
I feel alive
And the world is turning inside out
Floating around in ecstasy
|
| Khashoggi: |
Ma'am, if I might just
interrupt - |
| Killer Queen: |
Don't stop me now!
|
| Khashoggi: |
Ma'am, I hate to do it, but
- |
| Killer Queen: |
Don't stop me, 'cause
I'm having a good time
Having a good time
I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger, defying the laws of gravity - |
| Khashoggi: |
Maaaaaaaa'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!!
(KILLER QUEEN stops singing and gives KHASHOGGI a
filthy look)
I'm afraid you didn't let me finish. We broke up the
bohemian stronghold, but I fear the Dreamer - and his
bad-arsed babe - slipped our clutches. But I don't
foresee this as a problem - |
| Killer Queen: |
You lost them? |
| Khashoggi: |
Lost them only in the sense
of, don't know where they are. |
| Killer Queen: |
You fool! You imbecile! You
talentless, flat-footed PC Plod! Those two pathetic
losers are making idiots of us! |
| Khashoggi: |
They are individuals,
ma'am! The most dangerous enemy of all! I'd rather face
a massed army of nuclear-powered cyber-cops that one
crazy kid with a dream. |
| Killer Queen: |
Don't be ridiculous. |
| Khashoggi: |
All right, perhaps I was
pitching it a bit strong. But the point is, we're
currently stretched to the limit! The summer heat is
intense. We're encountering serious civil disorder. The
rivers and seas that rose with global warming are
receding again as the planet dehydrates. |
| Killer Queen: |
Who cares? I like hot
weather. |
| Khashoggi: |
We're having to drain the
lakes simply to supply the coke dispensers in the
multiplexes. |
| Killer Queen: |
That's absurd. |
| Khashoggi: |
Well, have you seen the
size of the cups these days? They've been getting bigger
for three hundred years. 'Regular' is now the size of a
dustbin. Only last week a small child fell into her
Sprite and drowned. |
| Killer Queen: |
I am sick of excuses,
Commander Khashoggi. And I am also sick of you. With
your weary, sneery, posey, schmosey, look at me, I'm
wearing sunglasses in doors crap! Oiling round the place
with your snooty little booty in your Armani suity. |
| Khashoggi: |
Actually, ma'am, it's M&S.
They've really rather raised their game recently, don't
you think? |
| Killer Queen: |
Need I remind you, that as
well as being businesswoman of the year, I am also
dynamite with a laser beam! |
| Khashoggi: |
Oh, nobody admires you more
than I do ma'am, your gentle manner, your quiet,
unassuming sense of style, your kind and forgiving
nature - |
| Killer Queen: |
You know what happens to
people who dissapoint me! I think Ill have to blow your
mind!
(enter chorus of YES THINGS)
Hey!
She walks warily down the street
With her brim pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of her feet
Machine guns ready to go
Are you ready, are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the dust, eh
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
How do you think I'm going to get along
Without you when you're gone
I took you for everything that you've got
And kicked you out on your own
Are you happy ? Are you satisfied ?
How long can you stand the heat
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust, hey hey
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he's down, yeah
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
Repeating to the sound of the beat
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Yes, another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust, hey hey
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
(two MINIONS enter, put an orange helmet on
KHASHOGGI's head, and descend with him into the stage.
Lights out then up again on a clear stage with the
graffiti'd concrete backdrop. GALILEO walks on from up
stage left, followed by SCARAMOUCHE) |
| Scaramouche: |
Oi! OI! Slow down, will
you! |
| Galileo: |
No! You keep up! |
| Scaramouche: |
I've got shorter legs than
you. |
| Galileo: |
Don't worry, your mouth
makes up for it. |
| Scaramouche: |
Well, you didn't have any
objections to it last night! |
| Galileo: |
That was below the belt. |
| Scaramouche: |
Which seems to be all you
think women are any good for! |
| Galileo: |
Hey! This isn't some
feminist achievement course we're on, here! It's a
battle as big as the planet! |
| Scaramouche: |
No, it's as big as your
ego, more like. |
| Galileo: |
Me? Egotistical? Let me
just get a few things straight, all right? You are a
girl. You're slower than me, weaker than me - |
| Scaramouche: |
Cleverer than you - |
| Galileo: |
What? Just because you
reversed the polarity on a couple of micro-transceivers
- |
| Scaramouche: |
Yeah? |
| Galileo: |
Well, my intelligence is
more abstract. I have the mind of an artist. |
| Scaramouche: |
A piss artist, more like. |
| Galileo: |
A rock artist! And I've got
a world to save, so if you hold me up - |
| Scaramouche: |
Hold you up! Listen, mate!
We're in this together! And despite the fact that you
are a self-righteous, arrogant little prick - I'm
staying. |
| Galileo: |
Well, suit yourself. |
| Scaramouche: |
Don't worry. I will. |
| Galileo: |
Yeah. |
| Scaramouche: |
Yeah. |
| Galileo: |
What? |
| Scaramouche: |
What? |
| Galileo: |
Hey! |
| Scaramouche: |
Hey! |
| Galileo: |
Yeah!
Here we stand or here we fall
History won't care at all
Wake the dead, fight the fight
Lady Mercy won't be home tonight
|
| Both: |
You don't waste no time
at all |
| Galileo: |
Don't hear the bell but
you answer the call |
| Both: |
It comes to you as to us
all |
| Scaramouche: |
You're just waiting for
the hammer to fall
Hey! |
| Galileo: |
Hey! |
| Scaramouche: |
Yeah! |
| Galileo: |
Yeah, the hammer to
fall! |
| Scaramouche: |
Every night, and every
day
A little piece of you is falling away
But lift your face, the western way, babe
Build your muscles as your body decays
|
| Both: |
Toe your line and play
their game |
| Scaramouche: |
Let the anaesthetic
cover it all |
| Both: |
Till one day they call
your name |
| Galileo: |
You know it's time for
the hammer to fall
Hey! The hammer to fall! |
| Scaramouche: |
Rich or poor or famous
For your truth it's all the same
Lock your door but rain is pouring
Through your windowpane
Baby now your struggle's all in vain |
| Both: |
What the hell we
fighting for? |
| Galileo: |
Just surrender and it
won't hurt at all |
| Both: |
You just got time to say
your prayers
While you're waiting for the hammer to, hammer to fall
The hammer to fall
Hey? Yeah?
The hammer to, hammer to, hammer to fall |
| Galileo: |
Give it to me one more
time! |
| Scaramouche: |
In. Your. Dreams. Mate.
(She stalks off. GALILEO follows her. POP climbs up
through a trapdoor centre stage, carrying a beer crate)
|
| Pop: |
Sometimes I get to
thinking
I was back in the old days, long ago
When we were kids, when we were young
Things seemed so perfect then - you know?
The days were endless
We were crazy, we were young
The sun was always shining
We just lived for fun
Sometimes it seems like lately - I just don't know
The rest of my life's been just a show
(the backdrop goes up and reveal a barroom scene. The
back of the stage and part of the bar are covered in
white drapes. The BOHEMIANS sit slumped at tables. POP
puts the crate on the bar and walks around room,
replacing drinks and wiping the tables) |
| Pop & Bohemians: |
Those were the days of
our lives
The bad things in life were so few
Those days are all gone now but one thing remains |
| Pop: |
When I look and I find
no change
You can't turn back the clock, you can't turn back
the tide
Ain't that a shame?
I'd like to go back one time on a roller coaster ride
When life was just a game
No use in sitting and thinkin' on what you did
You can lay back and enjoy it through the kids
Sometimes it seems like lately - I just don't know
Better sit back and go with the flow
|
| Pop & Bohemians: |
These are the days of
our lives
They've flown in the swiftness of time
These days are all gone now but one thing remains |
| Pop: |
When I look and I find
Hope still survives
Oh yeah
(GALILEO and SCARAMOUCHE enter, stage right)
|
| Galileo: |
Meatloaf! Guys, you're all
here! Oh, it's so good to see you! |
| Scaramouche: |
How did you escape? |
| Galileo: |
This is fantastic! The
bohemians are back! The fight is on!
(the BOHEMIANS look at GALILEO and SCARAMOUCHE
blankly) |
| Big Macca: |
Do I know you, kid? |
| Galileo: |
But - it's me, Big Macca.
You know. The man. The Dreamer. Galileo Figaro. |
| Big Macca: |
Nah, never heard of him.
Buy us a drink. |
| Galileo: |
What? |
| Meat: |
Come on, you heard the man,
buy us a soddin' drink! |
| Galileo: |
Meatloaf? |
| Pop: |
Your friends aren't there,
dude. Their bodies are, but their spirits have gone.
They've been processed. |
| Galileo: |
What do you mean? |
| Pop: |
This is where they all come
- the guys and chicks who tried to break on through to
the other side, and failed. They come to drown
themselves in the Seven Seas of Rhye. Rhye whisky, man.
The last comfort of those who have rocked. |
| Scaramouche: |
So - why do they come here? |
| Pop: |
You mean apart from in
order to get permanently pissed? |
| Scaramouche: |
Yes. |
| Pop: |
There is something about
this place. It's as if there's a spirit here. Long ago,
before global warming, the lake was much smaller. Who
knows, perhaps there's something down there, beneath the
water. Something these washed-out mothers need to be
close to. |
| Scaramouche: |
So who are you? |
| Pop: |
I was a librarian, astral
babe. In the place where they keep the secret histories.
I got a little too interested in the stuff I was
reading. |
| Scaramouche: |
Did they process you? |
| Pop: |
They tried to, but I guess
I knew too much. They couldn't zap it all. I may be
pretty screwed up, but I'm still the most together guy
here at the Seven Seas. That's why I'm the barman. |
| Scaramouche: |
So you remember something
of what you read? Of the secret histories? |
| Pop: |
I remember one story. A
legend so strong and powerful they could not wipe it
from my brain. Would you like to here it. |
| Scaramouche: |
Nah, I thought we'd just
have a drink and bugger off. Of course we want to hear
it, you hairy old git! |
| Pop: |
Whoa! That is one gutsy
chick, man! I bet she takes some handling! |
| Galileo: |
Well actually, she's not my
chick. |
| Pop: |
Lucky you, I reckon. |
| Galileo: |
Perhaps you could tell us
your story, Mr - er… |
| Pop: |
Pop. They call me Pop. |
| Galileo: |
We'd love to hear it. |
| Pop: |
Well.
(he gestures the two towards him, and they all sit on
the bar stools)
It seems that long ago, in the first decade of the
twenty-first century, there were those who foresaw the
nightmare that was to come. This was at the very
beginning of music homogenisation. A time of boy bands.
And girl bands. And boy and girl bands. And girl bands
with a couple of boys in them that looked like girls.
And boys who had left their boy bands to become just
boys. And girls who were still in their girl bands but
were nonetheless doing stuff as solo girls, sometimes in
duets with solo boys. And also - |
| Scaramouche: |
All right, get on with it! |
| Pop: |
They called themselves
bands, but they weren't bands. They were just pretty
pretty dancers with multi-track voices. |
| Galileo: |
It's been that way ever
since. |
| Pop: |
Exactly! A three hundred
year bum vibe! But you see, some people saw what was
coming. Take a look at this. It's a scroll of what I
think they used to call 'celluloid'.
(he presses a lever and a video screen descends)
I stole this on the day I was captured, and through
ten long years in a laser cell I've kept it hidden.
Don't ask me where. It's only a fragment, but it's all
that's left to us of a much longer, and seriously heavy
message that was laid down for us in antiquity.
(he presses a button and the start of the video to
'Bohemian Rhapsody' appears on the screen, very grainy)
|
| Recording: |
Is this the real life
Is this just fantasy
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up the skies, and see -
(the video ends) |
| Pop: |
That's all there is. Those
four young men, singing to us from three centuries ago,
were members of a rock freedom fighter collective known
as 'Queen'. Even then, those young soul visionaries knew
that real life was fast becoming someone else's fantasy.
Look -
(he cues the video again) |
| Recording: |
Is this the real life
Is this just fantasy
(and pauses it) |
| Galileo: |
A fantasy - created by the
computers of the global economy! |
| Pop: |
Exactly! |
| Recording: |
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality |
| Pop: |
They foresaw a time when
the kids would be caught in a landslide of computer
generated marketing, and there would be no escape from
that reality. All Queen wanted was for us all to… |
| Recording: |
Open your eyes
Look up the skies, and see - |
| Scaramouche: |
So that's what it meant.
Blimey. Sounded like a pretentious load of old bollocks
to me. |
| Pop: |
No way, crazy lady! These
are the words of truth! If only we knew the rest of the
text. |
| Galileo: |
I think I may know some of
it! Tell me, old wise one. What does 'Bismillah, we will
not let you go, let me go, no, no, no, no, no, mamma
mia, mammia mia, mamma mia, let me go, Beelzebub has a
devil put aside for me' mean? |
| Pop: |
Actually, I think that bit
probably was a pretentious load of old bollocks.
But. Having issued their warning - and incidentally
spent nine weeks at number one with it, despite what
were quite frankly some rather dodgy stage outfits -
Queen decided to fight back.
(POP grabs a chair, takes it to centre stage and sits
on it. CLIFF, who had been sitting on the chair, slowly
falls over)
You all right there, Cliff?
(CLIFF, lying on the floor, gives a thumbs up)
Don't worry about Cliff Richard, he's indestructible.
(SCARAMOUCHE and GALILEO sit on the floor in front of
POP)
In order to protect the future of rock'n'roll, Queen
decided to bury their finest instruments against a time
when there would be none. |
| Galileo: |
Wait. You mean real
instruments still exist - somewhere waiting to be found? |
| Pop: |
Yes. And they remain
hidden. Queen wove deep and terrible spells to protect
the precious weapons of freedom, from abuse by those not
worthy of playing them. Even at the beginning of the
dark age of globalisation, Queen knew that when the time
was right a hero would be found and the instruments
would reappear. Perhaps you are that man, man. |
| Scaramouche: |
But what happened to Queen? |
| Pop: |
The first of their number
died young. Too wild, too beautiful for this world. The
other three rocked on into the next century, but during
Globalsoft's first battles for the soul of the planet,
all three were captured and secretly killed. It is said
that the hairiest of the gang - a man named Bri-Anne -
was granted a final wish before execution. He asked to
be able to play one last guitar solo, and was therefore
able to postpone his death by three and a half days.
Where are the instruments, Galileo Figaro? |
| Galileo: |
Me? How would I know,
'man'? A couple of weeks ago I was virtually a Virtual
Highschool dropout. Why would the rock gods tell me the
answer?
(there is the sound of heavy machinery) |
| Scaramouche: |
What's going on? |
| Pop: |
Don't freak out, sweet
lady, they're just draining the lake. They steal our
water all the time now. It's almost down to its original
level. |
| Galileo: |
Hey - hey, look! What's
that, emerging from the water? A man! |
| Scaramouche: |
A statue. |
| Galileo: |
A hero - made of bronze and
rock. |
| Scaramouche: |
Who is it? Who does it
represent? |
| Pop: |
I know this man! I saw many
images in the secret histories! He is one of the freedom
fighters of Queen, the first to die! The greatest,
brightest star of his time! |
| Scaramouche: |
Star….bright star! Gazza!
Your dream! A bright star, that will show the way! It's
not a star in the sky at all - it's a rock star! |
| Pop: |
Freaky. |
| Galileo: |
But what's it showing us? |
| Scaramouche: |
The way! It must be! The
way to the place of living rock. Living rock isn't
granite at all - it's music. |
| Galileo: |
But Queen buried the
instruments there. How can they be buried in music? |
| Pop: |
No, man, the place of
living rock. Live rock'n'roll music! It's pointing
towards it, dude! The star is facing north! Well, north
and a little bit west, actually. The place he once ruled
- the place where people came together to play together
and be together! |
| Galileo: |
The place where the
champions played! |
| Pop: |
The place of champions! The
old arena, I'm sure of it. The machines may have
destroyed the stands and towers but they could never
destroy the vibe of what they once called - Wembley
Stadium. |
| Scaramouche: |
We must go, quickly! Well,
now the stars shown us the way, it can guide the police
there too. There's no time to lose. |
| Pop: |
I'll come with you, I can
show you how to get there. |
| Galileo: |
But we need transport. I
mean, we need wheels. |
| Bohemians: |
Bicycle! Bicycle!
Bicycle! |
| Scaramouche: |
Bugger that! We're going to
save rock'n'roll, we can't turn up on a bike! |
| Pop: |
Very eco. |
| Scaramouche: |
But it's not very cool. |
| Pop: |
You're right, crazy lady.
We'll take my Harley.
(black tabs and a video screen come down behind them
as a motorbike rises through the floor)
Rock's transport of choice. Not as fast, clean or
efficient as a Japanese bike, but it sounds humungous.
(he starts it and climbs on. To SCARAMOUCHE:)
Get on behind me, baby.
(she does so)
Nice. It's been years since I've felt the soft warm
thighs of a rebel chick wrapped round my skinny white
arse.
(apalled, SCARAMOUCHE jumps off the bike) |
| Scaramouche: |
Forget it. I'll go in
front.
(she climbs back on, in front of him this time)
|
| Pop: |
All right, but don't blame
me if I push the bone.
(SCARAMOUCHE leaps away from him, right to the front
of the seat) |
| Scaramouche: |
I think I'm going to puke!
Gazza, you get on behind me. And don't get any fresh
ideas. |
| Galileo: |
It is time. Time to avenge
the mighty Queen. Time to avenge them all! |
| Scaramouche: |
The word rhymes with
'banker'. |
| Pop: |
Get on your bikes and ride!
(GALILEO climbs on between POP and SCARAMOUCHE. The
bike takes off (apparently) and flies to its
destination. On the screen behind them we see the path
of their journey - across the sea, past the remains of
Stonehenge, overtaking Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, past the
Millenium Dome with the Globalsoft logo on it, and
finally to the gates of Wembley Stadium) |
| Galileo: |
Rock'n'roll! |
| Pop: |
Find me a bat! I want to
bite its head off! |
| All: |
And you're rushing
headlong |
| Galileo: |
Down the highway |
| All: |
And you're rushing
headlong |
| Scaramouche: |
Out of control |
| All: |
And you think you're so
strong |
| Pop: |
But there ain't no
stopping |
| All: |
And there's nothing you
can
Nothing you can
Nothing you can
Nothing you can
Nothing you can
Nothing you can
Nothing you can do about it
Headlong!
(at the gates they get off the motorbike, which sinks
back into the stage) |
| Galileo: |
Nothing. Nothing at all. |
| Pop: |
Bummer. |
| Galileo: |
There aren't any
instruments here! There isn't even any rock. |
| Pop: |
Just rubble. |
| Galileo: |
This place must have been
destroyed centuries ago. It's no place of champions any
more, if it ever was. I've failed, Scaramouche. I'll
never find where the holy axe was hidden. I'll never
play the lost riffs. My dreams - they never came true. |
| Scaramouche: |
Don't blame yourself,
Gazza. It's not your fault. |
| Galileo: |
Thanks, Scaramouche. |
| Scaramouche: |
I mean it's not your fault
you're a spineless, gutless, whinging little crybaby! |
| Galileo: |
Excuse me? |
| Scaramouche: |
I know why you can't find
the guitar, mate! What was it Pop said? Queen wove deep
and terrible spells to protect the instruments from
those not worthy of playing them! |
| Galileo: |
You mean me? |
| Pop: |
Ouch. |
| Scaramouche: |
What do you think the
mighty Queen died for? What? So you could act like a
pathetic little coward? You wanted to be a rock star?
They wouldn't let you in a boy band! |
| Galileo: |
Hey! Babe! I'm getting a
little sick of this self-righteous thing of yours, all
right? We tried, we failed. The instruments aren't here.
Get over it! |
| Scaramouche: |
Then we'll just have to
make music without them! |
| Galileo: |
What? A capella? |
| Pop: |
No! |
| Scaramouche: |
If necessary! |
| Pop: |
No! It is never necessary! |
| Scaramouche: |
Isn't that what it was all
about? In the beginning? It was kids, doing it for
themselves! They were playing in the streets, in the
garages! |
| Pop: |
Yes, it was, it was! |
| Scaramouche: |
So come on, Gazza! Where's
the bloke I used to love? Where's the bloke with the
lead in his pencil? Where is Shagileo Gigolo? |
| Galileo: |
Right here, babe! |
| Scaramouche: |
Then prove it! Are we gonna
rock, or what? |
| Galileo: |
Yes! Yes we are! I don't
need any second-hand instruments to make music with, I
can make music on my own. The music of a human being,
and not of a machine! |
| Scaramouche: |
Right on! |
| Pop: |
Hello, Wembley!
(silence) |
| Galileo: |
But not without you,
Scaramouche. Don't you remember what Britney Spears said
before he died? Making music is about love. You do it
for your baby. And I can only do it for you. I love you
with all my heart. Please come back to me. Because if
you don't, I don't know if I can do this thing. And the
kids'll forever be in chains! |
| Scaramouche: |
Oh, god. Talk about
emotional blackmail…
(she kisses him) |
| Pop: |
Ooh, I've gone all tingly.
(they part) |
| Scaramouche: |
So - let's rock! |
| Galileo: |
Yeah!
I don't know how to start. |
| Scaramouche: |
Well, come on buddy, you're
a boy…. |
| Pop: |
Make a big noise! |
| Scaramouche: |
Playing in the street… |
| Pop: |
…gonna be a big man some
day! |
| Galileo: |
Wait - that's it.
Buddy…
Buddy, you're a boy
Make a big noise
Playing in the street
Gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on your face
You big disgrace
Kicking your can all over the place
|
| Pop: |
What a curiously
exhilarating collection of words! |
| Galileo: |
Scaramouche - can you hear
it? The beat! It's returning!
(sure enough, we hear the beat. Soon we can hear it
all over the auditorium, as well)
Buddy, you're a boy
Make a big noise
Playing in the street
Gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on your face
You big disgrace
Kicking your can all over the place
Singing
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will rock you
(suddenly, on the of the gateposts splits open,
revealing a guitar) |
| Scaramouche: |
What's happening? |
| Pop: |
Thunderbolts and lightning,
very very frightening! |
| Galileo: |
An instrument! A real
musical instrument! |
| Scaramouche: |
So they do exist, after
all! |
| Pop: |
The dream machine! The
greatest weapon on freedom known to mankind! An electric
guitar! Seize it, Shagileo Gigolo! For none but the just
shall play the hairy one's mighty axe! None but the
kids!
(GALILEO takes the electric guitar) |
| Scaramouche: |
Wow. You're my guitar hero. |
| Galileo: |
Yes I am, baby. And now -
let's rock!
(he tries to play it but is very bad) |
| Pop: |
Ooh, no, the rebirth of
modern jazz. |
| Scaramouche: |
Give me that.
(she takes the guitar and plays it) |
| Galileo: |
The hairy one is back. And
this time, she's a babe. |
| Scaramouche: |
So - I'll play, you sing. |
| Pop: |
And I'll be a groupie!
Would anyone like to see my tits? |
| Scaramouche: |
Shut up, Pop! |
| Pop: |
Message received and
understood. But first - |
| Galileo: |
What're you doing, Pop? |
| Pop: |
What do you think? I'm
hacking into the Globalsoft mainframe, and emailing the
power of rock to ever GaGa kid on the planet! Soon
they'll all be bohemians! |
| Scaramouche: |
But Pop, Killer Queen will
get your message too! |
| Pop: |
Oh, no, man! She just did!
She wants to schedule a meeting….we're all going to be
downsized!
(a video screen descends, showing KILLER QUEEN)
|
| Killer Queen: |
Who dares to play live rock
on Planet Mall? |
| Galileo: |
I do! Me - and my baby! |
| Scaramouche: |
Oi, steady! |
| Killer Queen: |
I've heard your music, boy,
and you - you are going to be huge! You'll make a
million trillion zillion! I'm thinking merchandising,
spin-offs, rip-offs, GaGas, go go! Napster, crapster! By
tomorrow morning your face could be on every coke can in
the universe! What you need is a manager! |
| Galileo: |
I don't think so, Queen!
Shagileo Gigolo only rocks for the kids. |
| Killer Queen: |
You mean, for free? |
| Galileo: |
Yes. Yes I do! Pop, get me
my mike. |
| Pop: |
I shall be thy roadie! |
| Killer Queen: |
Noooooooo!
(her screen ascends) |
| Galileo: |
Buddy, you're a boy
Make a big noise
Playing in the street
Gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on your face
You big disgrace
Kicking your can all over the place
(BOHEMIANS enter behind the gates. SCARAMOUCHE shows
them the guitar, and POP breaks the lock so they can all
come through) |
| All: |
We will, we will rock
you
We will, we will rock you |
| Galileo: |
Buddy, you're a young
man, hard man
Shouting in the street
Gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on your face
You big disgrace
Waving your banner all over the place |
| All: |
We will, we will rock
you
We will, we will rock you |
| Galileo: |
Buddy, you're an old
man, poor man
Pleading with your eyes
Gonna make you some peace some day
You got mud on your face
You big disgrace
Somebody better put you back into your place |
| All: |
We will, we will rock
you
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will rock you |
| Galileo: |
I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But I've come through |
| All: |
And we mean to go on and
on and on and on
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the world
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the world
(walkdown music and bows. After everyone has taken a
bow, the words 'Do you want Bohemian Rhapsody?' come up
on the video screens. After more applause they are
followed by 'Oh…..all right then.') |
| Galileo: |
Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
|
| Scaramouche: |
Too late, my time has
come
Sends shivers down my spine
My body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
|
| Galileo: |
Mama, ooo |
| Chorus: |
Anyway the wind blows |
| Galileo: |
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all |
| Khashoggi: |
I see a little
silhouetto of a man |
| Chorus: |
Scaramouche, scaramouche
will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me
Galileo |
| Galileo: |
Galileo |
| Chorus: |
Galileo |
| Galileo: |
Galileo |
| Chorus: |
Galileo figaro magnifico |
| Galileo: |
I'm just a poor boy,
nobody loves me |
| Chorus: |
He's just a poor boy,
from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity |
| Galileo: |
Easy come, easy go
Will you let me go |
| Chorus: |
Bismillah! No, we will
not let you go
Bismillah! We will not let you go, let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go |
| Galileo: |
Let me go |
| Chorus: |
Will not let you go |
| Galileo: |
Let me go |
| Chorus: |
Never let you go |
| Galileo: |
Let me go
Never let me go |
| Chorus: |
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no |
| Galileo: |
Oh mama mia, mama mia |
| Chorus: |
Mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
For me, for me |
| Killer Queen: |
So you think you can
stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die |
| Chorus: |
Oh baby, can't do this
to me baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here
|
| Galileo: |
Nothing really matters |
| Scaramouche: |
Anyone can see |
| Galileo: |
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me
Anyway the wind blows... |
